Goodbye Hōlanikū. Sailing Through Pō: What the Waʻa in the Clouds Told Me

For those that have been following my journey you’ll know that it hasn’t been an easy sail or transition through Pō (realm of the Gods). Before coming to Hōlanikū (Kure Atoll), I was faced with many different obstacles. Usually, when things go left over and over I take those as clear signs and indications that the Universe is steering me in a different direction, however, that doesn’t mean I always listen. I am so fortunate to have been able to experience this journey and sail through Pō, sailing the Papahānaumokuākea channel and setting foot on our eldest island is not something many can say they’ve experienced, especially for Kanaka Māoli (Native Hawaiians). I feel that I learned so much about myself in that short span of being there. Unfortunately, my stay was much shorter than anticipated as I was asked to leave.

Let me make this clear- by no means am I wishing any ill or repercussions on this organization, we left on good terms in the end, even though their decision deeply hurt me in the moment, I trust that nā Akua (Gods/deities) and my kūpuna (ancestors) were looking out for me, and removing me from a space where the framework, lifestyle, and mindsets did not align. 

In the end, I am just speaking my truth, and feel that I owe each of you an explanation since this has been such a huge part and direction of my life for the past few months, whether you donated to my contribution, followed my blogs, purchased stickers, or subscribed to my podcast. 

Globally, opportunities around the world are led by non-Indigenous institutions. While that doesn’t make them bad, it often limits access and shapes the experience through a non-Native lens. I don’t think there are words that can express what I am trying to articulate, my goal was to bring more awareness that these spaces exist in hopes to bring more Kānaka and people throughout the Pacific. By no means am I trying to steer other Kānaka away from these opportunities- because it is our kuleana (responsibility) to be in these spaces. I just hope that one day, these opportunities will become more accessible to us, especially since many in our marginalized communities carry obligations like providing for their families, covering other expenses, and not always having the extra funds to volunteer. My only hope is that organizations and volunteer opportunities in culturally sensitive areas will one day reflect and represent a team of staff and volunteers that have ancestral ties to such places. Until then, many of these opportunities will continue to reflect a Western framework. I can only hope that during my short time there, I made some kind of cultural impact on the team, and with the land. 

I think things would have been different under different circumstances but everything happens for a reason. Places like Hōlanikū aren’t just remote - they’re sacred. This isn’t just an island in the middle of the ocean, it’s part of Pō, a realm tied to our ancestors, creation, and deep spiritual knowing. Being in that space requires more than showing up with the right gear or background—it takes respect, cultural, and spiritual awareness. Although I felt spiritually and mentally aligned, I could have also prepared myself more physically.

I’m unsure what's next for me, for those that know me, they know I always make the best of any situation, I trust that there is something far greater beyond the horizon that I can’t see or make sense of right now. I have been grieving, processing, and healing. My podcast episodes have been on hold, and I am excited to start releasing episodes again. 

The family has continued to commit to watching Kolohe, and Clydene Andrede, the store owner of Strictly Native Gear at the Hilo mall, has also agreed to continue to sell my merchandise. They have made this news much easier to cope with, so a big mahalo to them both!

I reflect back to all the wa’a (canoe) I saw in the clouds, thank you Bri Bishop for that reminder, perhaps it was a sign of transition. Wherever I land next, I know I’ll arrive more rooted, more resilient, and more ready. I’ve considered volunteering and traveling, while building my podcast and brand, and creating merchandise from the places, and people I meet, bringing awareness to societal issues world wide. The choices really are endless, something exciting and terrifying to experience at the age of 30. Until then, just know I’m out there looking to tackle my next big adventure. - Kalani Garcia